Log in

No account? Create an account
21 November 2008 @ 05:59 pm

- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!


Character Name: Claude Frollo
Series: Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Age: Unknown, probably in his fifties
Job: Minister of Justice

Canon: 1502, and Paris is in the grips of religious fervor - the Church rules all, and no one dares to do anything that might draw the attention of those with God-given power. Sins are easy to come across and very difficult to avoid, and when they are found, the Minister for Justice makes sure they are...eradicated. The population whispers about a mysterious bellringer high in the cathedral of Notre Dame, a creature never seen and barely imaginable. Little do they know that the bellringer is a deformed boy named Quasimodo who has spent his entire life locked away inside the belltower, spared only because the Minister for Justice was told that the child's death would forever cast a shadow over his own soul.

Judge Claude Frollo is the Minister of Justice for Paris and the villain of our story, a deeply religious man who hates corruption, vice and sin. He truly believes that he, and he alone, can purge the darkness of the world, and that he has been ordained by God to save the wicked souls of all those around him, and can never see that it's not always the rest of the world that's wicked - there's a darkness inside him, too. There is nothing in the world for him but bringing souls back to God...forcibly, if need be. He will stop at nothing to save the innocents around him from the touch of the devil, even if it means their deaths. After all, your life is only a small price to pay for an eternal place in Heaven.

Sample Post:

May God have mercy on your souls. This is a place of filth, of sin, of devilry and vile witchcraft, and you are all tainted by the dark touch of the destroyer. Does not the Bible say that man shall not lie with man? You destroy the sanctity of the holy state of marriage with your parodies, and you shall repent of them on your knees before our dear Lord. This Sabbath day we shall keep holy, as we will all days hereafter. The church will be cleansed, the altar restored, and the ground around it consecrated. The power of Satan will be driven out from this place, and from all of you.

There is none so far gone into the darkness that he cannot be brought back into the light of God by the hand of truth and justice. Repent, sinners, and you can yet be saved. Forsake your false idols, your...your 'moon god' and the Devil spawn creature within the lake. This woman you call the Director has no power over you, and her rule is condemned by the Lord. Woman shall not be set above man. Only God has the power to decide what is right and just...God, and those who know His word as I do. You can still avoid the eternal flames of Hell...and the flames of this world.

Amongst you there are those who even now deny the power of the Lord, who turn away from his justice. You have committed mortal sins, and your relationship with your God is in jeopardy unless you attend confession and tell me all that you have done wrong. Your souls will be saved, one way or another. I have been sent here to ensure that you all return to Heaven once your days on this earth are numbered. It will not be easy. The path of truth and justice is never so. You will struggle with the demands of our Holy Father. I will guide you through the wilderness and into the light, my children.

Vow your celibacy, and resist the temptation of the plant called mistletoe. Remember that the Lord thy God has set commandments to govern your actions and to bring you to His holy presence. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor! These things I have seen already, and worse besides. This place is a foul pit of sin and it shall be cleansed with fire and the sword. The white demons that keep souls trapped here and unable to fly to their God or to eternal purgatory will be first. They must be exorcised, or else put to the flames, so that each soul's passage can begin. Have no fright, children. Though this world is full of pain and suffering, you will bear it in the knowledge that it will bring you to the knee of your Father in Heaven. I, Claude Frollo, promise you this. You can trust me...and me alone.

In or out?


Character: Medusa
Series: Soul Eater
Age: Appears as a young woman
Job: Direction Provider

Canon: In the world of Soul Eater, living weapons eat souls. Not just anyone's souls, though: eating the soul of a normal human is forbidden, and the souls of those who break that rule turn into something evil. At Shibusen, a school for aspiring weapons and their wielders, they only eat those bad eggs. For a weapon to become a Death Scythe, a weapon powerful enough to be wielded by a shinigami, they must eat 99 of those souls... and one soul of a witch.

Medusa is a witch; however, unlike most other witches (who are content to work their magic safely far away from the students) Medusa is a snake in a den of wolves. She infiltrates Shibusen by disguising her power and playing the role of an attractive school nurse. The deception is easy, since Medusa can lie as easily as she breathes. She appears polite, kind, and trustworthy enough that she can proceed with malicious plans - including experimenting on the students - mostly unnoticed. Even after she chooses to reveal herself and put her evil plans into action, she still smiles charmingly between her dark threats.

Medusa's magic takes two main forms: thousands of amorphous snakes (which can grow large enough to stand on or small enough to slip into someone's body unnoticed), and arrow-themed spells (arrows that cut people, arrows on surfaces that propel people, etc.).

Sample Post:
Hello, campers! You can call me Medusa. As long as I'm here, I'll be advising you all about what direction you want to take in life. I assure you, I'll can guide you on your path as straight as an arrow. Of course, your path doesn't have to be straight if your preferences lie elsewhere - I'm confident that you can manage whatever kinks you encounter. After all, you're all capable of amazing things. If anyone ever finds themselves incapable, just let me know - I do have some medical training. I hope you'll confide in me, even if it's a personal issue. Just remember that everyone here can change the world, as long as you keep moving forward and getting stronger, and I'm here to help guide you on your way.

However, I would first like to clear up some misconceptions. First of all, no matter what my name is, I won't be turning anyone to stone, and I would rather not hear any jokes about turning you rock-hard, either; isn't that sexual harassment? It's completely inappropriate. Secondly, I also hear some people calling me a snake! Oh, dear. The stereotype of intelligent women as cold and conniving is worn out by now. Where would you have gotten such ideas? ...Toucans? Well! I'll have to track those birds down. Whether they're witches or just magical beasts, to have them spread such unfounded rumors about a teacher--! Children, please remain here while I investigate.

...Ah, here we are. Brightly colored birds aren't terribly hard to find, magical or not; you might want to invest in some camouflage if you're going to spread such vile slander. Still, you're such a pretty bird! Oh, but some of your feathers seem to be out of place; let me - ah! Your beak is as sharp as your tongue, I see. Fine, I won't touch you - but you seem talkative, and I would like to know where you're getting your information from, if you would be so kind.

Hmm, mind reading, is it? That does seem like a bit of a liability for me. In that case, I wonder if you can still use that ability with snakes eating away at your brain? It should be a good experiment. ...My, such horrible language! I'll definitely have to punish you. Although if you'd rather not have your skull torn open, I'm sure that we can come to some arrangement. Perhaps you could be my spy? I've been placed in charge of guidance, after all, and mind reading could be very useful in discovering who here is worth manipulating. I'm sure some of the people here think about more interesting things than where inside my body I keep my snakes.

In or out?


Character: Amano Maya
Series: Persona 2: Innocent Sin
Character Age: 23
Job: Friendly Neighbourhood Reporter

Canon: In Sumaru City rumours have suddenly started to become reality. The ramen shop owner used to be a spy and sells weapons? check. An unmanned monster taxi moves down people during the night? check. Hitler wants to conquer an ancient alien ship? check. And in the midst of this demons are appearing over the whole city and some people have discovered they have the ability to summon personas, personification of the psyche. And all the leads seems to point to the mysterious Masquerade, a cult that seems to have its origin in an event 10 years ago.

Trying to make sense of all this and to get the next big scoop is Ace Journalist Amano Maya, from the teen magazine Coolest. It also turns out she can summon Personas, and so she joins up with some teenagers she meets while doing research at the local High School. Maya is cheerful, talkative and super-optimistic, as reflected in her very engrish catchphrase; Let's positive thinking! Maya loves her work and has a tendency to let it take priority over everything else, like her (non-existent) love life or the state of her apartment. While she can be lazy, cheap and her driving is known to repeatedly endanger lives, the teenagers look up to her as a role model and older sister because of her constant encouragements and infinite resolve.

Sample Post:

Ciao, everyone! Please say hello to your new friendly neighbourhood reporter, ace editor Amano Maya! It might have been six months since camp got its newsletter and there's still not even one number released. But fear not—with Big Sis Maya here, it'll be done in a split second. If the camp computers continues to act up and inserting links that would make even the most hardened in camp frown, we'll just do it by hand!

It's important for you teenagers to be aware what happens in the world, and Camp is no exception to this. Who knows what exciting things you could be missing out on, things that might be happening next door? The opportunity to grasp your dreams might be right there and you're just sleeping it away or gambling your kupo nuts away in the mess hall. This won't do! We adults must take responsibility and make sure that you try to take your dreams in your own hands. And what better way to do that than to educate about the world you're in? Just trust me and let's positive thinking!

To start with, you should all know that Christmas is almost here, so there's a lot to prepare for. Make sure you have heaters ready in your cabins or some pretty girl or boy to curl up with, because the amount of snow is predicted to come in heaps, which must mean we'll get a really white Christmas. Not to forget about the event I know all you kids looks forward to the most: mistletoe! Christmas is the perfect time for dates, and what better way to break the ice than to let the mistletoe do the work for you. Fast, easy and sweet, just like it's supposed to be in modern times ♥

And let's not forget the best thing about Christmas, presents! Camp might not have the same selection as Shibuya, but we mustn't forget the stores that do exist. For one, I hear there is this really great shop where you can buy wishes. Sure, you should work hard to make your own dreams come true, but if they had gift cards it would be the perfect Christmas present. Or if you want to save money, there's always the classic of just giving away a pretty card, it works every time, I can tell you.

If I might suggest something myself, what about a lovely ride on a zeppelin? I could offer to drive it myself! Big Sis Maya's Airship Service doesn't sound so bad, right? Eh? Why are you making that face? I've only ever crashed one that one time! No one has ever died riding with me yet, trust me! Just think positively and I'm sure we'll be okay!

In or out?


Character: The Earl of the Millennium
Series: D. Gray-man
Character Age: Unknown; definitely appears counselor aged
Job Idea: Knitting Instructor

Canon: The world of D. Grayman is waging a war that will determine the fate of all humanity. On one side are Exorcists who wield holy weapons forged from Innocence. On the other are a group known as the Noah, gifted with inhuman abilities. Their leader, The Earl of the Millennium, has been working for a very, very long time, leading them in his grand scheme of destruction. ♥ He's a very intelligent brand of villain. The sort who works just behind the scenes weaving webs of manipulation to make the pieces fall just~ so~, who makes deliciously veiled threats at just the right moments and lacks even the tiniest amount of doubt in his cause. He's completely devoted to the destruction of the world, believing it to be the only thing that can and should be done for this corrupt world that humans have made for themselves. All this with a permanent ear-to-ear grin on his face.

When The Earl isn't out taking an active part in villainy, he can be found designing a new hat or knitting quietly by the fireplace. The Earl is quite fond of his hobbies, you see. ♥ He's also a family man! The Earl is indeed genuinely fond of each of the Noah and is quite tolerant of occasional teasing or bursts of rambunctiousness from them. That is, so long as they've been following their orders properly. If they aren't, well. Even among the Noah, The Earl can be a very frightening man. ♥

The Earl is exceedingly prone to heartmarks. He usually drops one in every other sentence, but I'll be cutting down on the amount in the app for the sake of readability.

Sample Post:

Good evening, children. ♥ Today will be a day of great importance in your young and pitiful lives. This is a once in an era chance to learn a valuable skill from a man such as myself. Today, children, I shall teach you the fine art of knitting. ♥

. . .

Sit down. ♥ This is not an optional lesson. Filthy humans should be more grateful when presented with such gifts. Knitting is a valuable skill, as I said. Think of how satisfying it will be to bind off your first project. ♥ No, there is no bondage involved. Do refrain from asking any further foolish questions. As I was going to say, hand-knit clothing makes wonderful gifts as well. ♥ Don't fret. Learning the proper way to give this kind of gift is included in the lessons. Knowing how to ensure your recipient wears their gift is also a fine art. ♥

Excuse me. You, boy, in the back. I have to ask you to cease using your knitting needles as weapons. I would hate to have to . . . scold someone before I begin. ♥ It is quite impressive that you were able to hit him from such a distance, but it's made quite a mess. It's very lucky for you that the yarn has not been stained. However, you do need to clean your needles immediately. If you leave them as they are, your work will be ruined when you begin. See to it that they're spotless before the practical part of the lesson begins. ♥

The rest of you, pay attention. The most important step of knitting is choosing suitable yarn. Today you only need to concern yourselves with color. Choose one that will suit the person to wear what you make. . . . Zombie innards are not appropriate. Your needles are much too small for that. ♥ A novice like you would never be able to keep them on your needles long enough to knit a single stitch. You will find the yarn that you may choose from on the tables at the side. I find myself partial to the gorilla blend. It has a unique color to it, but you will need to take care if you wear it near an actual gorilla. They seem to be rather fond of it as well. ♥ Make your decisions quickly, children. The next lesson begins now.

First, you must learn to cast on your yarn. Follow my example. Hold the string-- No. Fishing line is also unacceptable. Regardless of the terms, this is not a fishing class. Now, hold your string and form a slipknot--

Boy. As I have said, this is a lesson in knitting. Not fishing or the names of musical groups. But since you are so determined to become the center of attention today, I'll ask that you join me at the front for a demonstration. I want to show the class how close the slipknot is to a noose.

In or out?


Character Name: General Cross Marian
Canon: D. Gray-Man
Character Age: Unknown, late-twenties.
Job: Responsibility Counselor

Canon: At the end of an alternate universe 19th century, there exists a Millennium Earl, who exploits human tragedy and turns souls into living weapons called Akuma. To fight him, the Pope has a personal army called the Black Order. Their headquarters are populated by mad scientists, inspectors with delicious cake, and the exorcists: apostles of God who Lay The Mercy Smackdown On Those Poor Sons Of Bitches. These exorcists, especially our hero Allen Walker, have to learn their history and techniques from someone. That's where General Cross comes in.

Cross is a terrifying asshole badass with such horrible behavior that most of the Order hates dealing with him. That Man Who Knows Everything, he mysteriously disappeared for years, leaving the Order to whisper about his possible death or his more possible dropping his mission to shack up with hookers. Cross is a traveling hobo at heart, if a hobo had extremely expensive taste and liked his clothes - and his people - clean and beautiful. Almost every trauma Allen has is from being his apprentice. He lives with lovers and friends, drinks, gambles, accumulates horrendous debt, and teaches his student things like cheating at gambling to pay off said debt. Armed with a gun and a chained-up coffin where he keeps Maria, his personal sexy animated exorcist corpse, Cross is a force to be reckoned with. He's a scientist, a sorcerer, an incredible exorcist, respected as much as he is feared, and working with all he's got - including forbidden magic and even Akuma - to bring down the Earl.

But he also never checks in with his job, probably uses exorcist powers to hide from debtors, puts his feet on the Vatican's table, and loves the ladies so much that all it takes to end years of being unable to find him is a cute girl's personal request.

Sample Post:

Looks like Elizabeth finally caught me. I thought I'd try disappearing again, but if she asks me with that face of hers to stick around, who am I to refuse? Guess it was too much to hope that the Sayres had enough on their plate with the Debusseys to remember a little debt - but they always took good care of their records, didn't they? I was wondering what she was doing anyway, still meddling around here.

Though I thought I told my idiot apprentice to take care of the debt with the Sayres. That'll teach me to expect that filthy runt to do anything right. It's not that I mind the operation, I'm not so judgmental - but this place is so damn dirty. You, get the hell away from me. You're not nearly beautiful enough. Ah, but miss, I can forgive a few smudges on you. It looks like Maria can make a few little corpse girlfriends here, eh?

Well, it's a pain in the ass, but I'll be the responsibility counselor for you brats. When I was given the job I thought, who do you think you're looking at? But one way or another, it looks like I'll be putting my feet up here. Fine. So I've set up some responsibilities for you snot-nosed punks to take care of. I need someone to do my laundry (pressed and folded), keep my bath hot, cook my meals to order, pour me proper wine, feed Timcampi, feed Allen, and deal with anyone who comes after me. You won't have a problem with it, right? If you're not here to report in, then go away.

Of course, I can spare some personal lessons for the fine girls of this camp on propriety. You have a responsibility as young ladies to make sure you keep growing up strong and attractive, after all. Ugly boys can just open your ears now, because I'll only say it once, and keep your damn distance while you're at it: there's nothing I can do for you. Your role in this camp is to be slower than the beautiful people so you get caught by those fat annoying gorillas first. Deal with it. If you fail at this simple task, and a filthy paw ever bothers the fine women of this place - or if a slimy tentacle ever sullies them by sneaking itself somewhere only well-tailored gloves should touch... well, the responsible thing to do is clear, eh? As your counselor I'll lay to rest their filthy souls with the bullets of Judgment, and they shall repent forever and ever, Amen.

In the meantime, you'll have a drink with me, won't you? Sixteen is far too old to have never tasted decent wine. It's way too hard to smuggle decent valuables across borders these days, so let's enjoy it while it lasts.

In or out?


Character Name: Dante
Series: Devil May Cry
Character Age: 28
Job: Pizza Connoisseur

Canon: Two-thousand years ago the great demon Sparda sealed off Hell from the human world. He then quietly reigned over Earth, his existence becoming legend. Little known to the world that he saved, Sparda married a mortal woman and bore twin sons before disappearing completely. Even as the memory of Sparda faded, his integrity was carried on by his youngest son, Dante. He's there when demons invade your house, steal your best friend, or possess your girlfriend. All you gotta do? Call Devil May Cry, home of your local demonic bounty hunter. Using both the demonic sword Rebellion and his twin guns Ebony and Ivory, Dante's fighting skills are unmatched—his talent with firearms alone is said to make even the devils cry.

In the time over the three games, Dante grows from a reckless young boy into a mature mentor-figure for the next generation of devil hunters that need him. However, he still acts like a "take it as it comes, see the consequences later," kinda guy. He's not beyond making terrible jokes, hiding behind fashion magazines, and acquiring a wide-variety of tabs from different businesses. Beyond the child-like attitude and crappy one-liners, Dante is extremely responsible, and will see things through, no matter how dangerous, to the end. In many ways, he's said to have surpassed his own father, in both ability and accomplishment.

Note: When people call Devil May Cry, they need a password to get Dante's services. Also, Dante is coming from the end of Devil May Cry 4.


I get it, I get it—kids, campers, and the party getting crashed by unexplained murders. Hey! It's just like home—sans the strip clubs and more the camp kinda thing. I gotta say, though, I'm kinda disappointed; no gates to Hell, no hidden cults, and no demons scrambling for a piece of my ass. This is starting to sound more like a vacation than a job. Maybe I shouldn't complain. After all, I was called here by lady Director who had the password, and I don't have it in me to say no to a lady.

I heard her man caught himself in an unfortunate accident, could be with some supernatural ties. It's funny, the only death trap I'm seeing here is hordes of you in the Mess Hall, and that ain't something I'm willing to screw with yet. Masses of blood-thirsty demons is up my alley, but a collective teenage mentality? Nah, sorry, that's a no-go, you're all on your own there. It's not my thing, no matter who's paying me what up where. Besides, don't you kids have your own problems to figure out? I'm a bounty hunter, not a babysitter.

First it's watching the kids, and then they give me some bullshit job. With all my credentials, this is all they can offer me? A pizza connoisseur? Yeah, sure, bring me a pizza, and I will connoisseur it. Piece by piece, pepperoni and cheese, we'll learn together, kids, how's that? Think of it as a treat. Oh yeah, no cheap-ass pizzas, that frozen stuff is garbage. ... And no olives! A guy's gotta have some class. You bring the above, and you're banned from my conquered corner of the Mess Hall. But, hey, if you can't figure out pizza after a good lesson, I'll give you advice on how to please your girl. I don't mind turning this Q & A about pizza into the Birds and the Bees with Doctor Dante. And for the girls? Advice is free of charge. I'm not about to let any of you babes be denied the privilege. I'll just take this couch into the Mess Hall; all those who seek wisdom shall be enlightened.

Okay, okay, look, maybe I don't sound to happy about this. It's not that I have anything against anyone, I'm a simple guy, give me an interesting job from ... Uh, maybe a good-looking babe, and I'm all over it. Hell, who knows, maybe she's as ugly as sin, but Elizabeth's a hot name, so I'll let it pass this time. I guess this is her "screw the investigation—oh, and here's the kids" kinda thing, and she didn't even put out yet.

So now what am I supposed to do now? What I'm born to do—kids, it's time to pick this party up where it left off.

In or out?


Character: Samuel Winchester
Series: Supernatural
Age: 25
Job: Bikini Inspector
Canon: Sam Winchester is the Antichrist.

That said, he's not really a bad guy. After his mother died in mysterious circumstances, his father began a life-long quest for revenge, raising Sam and his brother Dean as hunters of the demonic, undead and supernatural. An academic at heart, Sam is better at research than combat. In his time on the road with his brother, he's gotten to be a much more competent fighter, able to hold his own and take care of himself. Sam is the show's straight man--he's almost always the one cracking down on fun, making sure the job is getting done while Dean makes jokes and chases skirts.

His brother's influence has loosened him up over the years, and despite concerns like "death," "emo," "becoming the Antichrist" and "crippling fraternal codependency," he still knows how to have fun with his work. Just ask that little girl who thinks he's a teddy bear doctor.

Note: In
Supernatural, zombies are killed by nailing them back into their graves.

Sample Entry:

Ma'am, if I could have a moment of your time. Just--please, this will only take a second. I just need to ask you a few questions. I'm with the Board of Public Health. We're conducting an investigation on reports--

My ID? Um, yeah! Of course you can see my ID. It's right here. I'm--you really don't have to read it, right? It's just. It's a little embarrassing. There's a typo on my name. I know, that's sad, right? But, you know, with budgets what they are...it's Allen. Allen Ripley. And I'm really only here to help you. My partner and I were sent here to investigate an outbreak of leprosy. I've gotta say, it's been a while since we've heard that one. Could you tell me how long you've been afflicted? The more information we have about when the epidemic started, the sooner we can--excuse me?

Oh. That. Yes! My official title in the agency is Bikini Inspector. Not many people catch that. You know, being involved in Public Health, we often, uh. Have to deal with sexually transmitted diseases. It's not the most glamorous job, but someone has to do it, right? Yeah, I guess it's kind of my field of expertise. Have you seen Agent Hicks, by the way? I really need to talk to him. About important public health concerns.

Sorry, what? Um. Yeah, you're right! That does say "Board of Pubic Health." Wow. We really need to work on the budget this year. I'm surprised we can afford IDs. But, you know, we're really getting away from the investigation. Can you tell me when you started noticing the first symptoms of your leprosy?

Brains. Okay. That's great. And has your skin always been that, ah, pale, or did that start with the illness? Because that could be a very rare strain, and if it is, we need to quarantine this area immediately. So, anything you could tell me the progression of the disease, how it manifested for you...I'd really appreciate it.

...Brains. You know what? You've been a big help, ma'am, but I think I'd better get going. I'll let you know as soon as we come up with something. Don't worry, we're going to have you folks back to normal as soon as we can. We have an excellent record with outbreaks. And I'm sure they'll be able to reattach that arm, no problem. You just hold on to it. There doesn't happen to be a graveyard in the area, by the way? Just out of curiosity. We might need to, um, examine some of those who have died from the disease. Over that way? Great. Thank you so much.

--that's a pool. With a swimsuit competition going on. Miss Zombie CFUD 2008. That's--I'm really not qualified--uh. Well. Those bikinis all look...up to government standards! No problems here. So I'm just going to--ow!

I'm just going to inspect these bikinis. Dean, I'm going to kill you.

In or out?


Character: Dean Winchester
Series: Supernatural
Character Age: 29
Counselor Job: Movie Director P.A. (Personal Assistant)

CanonIf there's something strange in your neighbourhood, if there's something weird and it doesn't look good, who ya gonna call? WINCHESTERS, that's who! When John Winchester's wife was killed by a yellow-eyed demon, he took the only appropriate action he knew. Training his kids to be demon-busters. Now, the brothers are on their own American road-trip supernatural hunting mission and they're certainly not afraid of no ghosts. They might be scamming you first with their fake IDs and jobs, but it's all for the good cause.

If you think the older brother was the more responsible, adult, mature one....think again. Dean's the guy who would prefer going to Disneyland or a bar to hit on chicks than thinking about the job. Don't get him wrong, when he needs to be serious or when his brother is in trouble, he's more than capable to go Terminator on your ass. He just prefers to be laid-back and let his brother do all the work... unless it's something he's interested in, like chicks or movies. He's a wise-cracking, film-loving, rock-rolling guy who takes "seizing the day" literally. But in the end, Dean's all for family which is his number one priority in his life. That, and his car.

Sample Post:

Hey, is this the place where we sign up for our dream jobs? 'Cause I am so in. I'm here for something else, but hey, nothing wrong with a little extra spending money while I'm here. Experience? Sure, I've got experience. I was part of the set of Hell Hazers 2: Revelations and I can tell you, I'm the best P.A there ever is. I even come with a "guaranteed satisfaction" sign on my back. You can't see it, Mister Non-Believer, but it's so there. You won't regret this, Ms. Director, I can promise you! --Oh, you want less talking and more action. Cool by me. By the way, did I tell you how much I loved your movies "Death by Moon" and "Robot Cows Strike Back"? --Right, more action coming right up!

But first, layout. Knowing where's what is always important for setting, especially if you're setting is a swamp in the middle of fucking nowhere, where there seem to be a lot of disappearances happening. Hey hey, I read the newspaper, being one of those truly educated individuals out there. Plus, I happen to like the comic section. So. Swamps. Not the most original movie setting there is, but this place has got its own magic and seeing pink bog-sand pits is a first for me. By the way, I'm totally digging the costumes. You guys look so damn authentic that I feel like tugging your ears to see if they fall off... kinda just like that! Man, you guys are really die-hard zombie fans. Awesome, I can totally appreciate a guy who's willing to go the distance with his work. I'm that kind of guy myself. Oh, for the record, the name's Agent Hicks. Yeah, my first name is Agent. You got a problem with that? I didn't think so. Anyway, I get what you get and I'm here to make it all better for this movie to hit the screen this winter. And to prove I'm the best fucking P.A there is.

Okay, here's the plan. Let's ditch this part of the script where there are rainbows and dancing with the main character and his squeeze. Why? Because rainbows are lame, dude. Nobody wants to see that! Okay, maybe pansy people who like world peace and kittens want to see that, but we're making a hard-core horror-zombie fest movie here! Screw those guys, let's do this my way -- I mean, our way! So, in this scene, you zombie-actor-people need to hide behind the trees when the lead character comes in chargin' with his lasers to confront the nefarious villain -- shut the fuck up I know what nefarious means, and then suddenly you pop out from the background like daisies and corner the hero in his Ascot Martin. It's sheer brilliance, of course. I know how these things work. And then we can have the killer howler monkeys coming from the lake with Uzis. From the sky, we can add in the chickens in copters and the calvary can be cows with guns and ---

...I'm so fired, aren't I.

In or out?


Raphael: ruh roh raggy.healingcock on November 22nd, 2008 02:02 am (UTC)
y-you guys what is this voting
Raphael: rapist of Heavenhealingcock on November 22nd, 2008 02:08 am (UTC)
all in

i am filled with glee
神田ユウ (Kanda Yuu): What the Christ.betterthnyours on November 22nd, 2008 02:02 am (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
Nogunaga Drill: HIGH QUALITYnobunaga_drill on November 22nd, 2008 02:04 am (UTC)
Captain Jack Harkness: ← kiss kiss ianto.captaincy on November 22nd, 2008 02:04 am (UTC)



okay i'm going to stop expressing my love before you all start looking at me funny again.
Vitani: wicked: make or break mellamrei on November 22nd, 2008 02:04 am (UTC)
morning is mocking mexen0glossy on November 22nd, 2008 02:04 am (UTC)
Abstain for bias on the Supernatural apps. Everyone else in!
THE GREAT CAPTAIN USOPP!!: RUN RUN THE BAMBOO IS ATTACKINGcapt_liarpants on November 22nd, 2008 02:04 am (UTC)
lkjasldkjflakjsdfka FROLLO!
THE GREAT CAPTAIN USOPP!!: follow the open seacapt_liarpants on November 22nd, 2008 02:23 am (UTC)
All in except for Medusa and Amano Maya.

Holy shit, Frollo, I love you. He's up there in my heart's Battle Royale of Favorite Disney Villains.
(no subject) - n_finitefangirl on November 22nd, 2008 02:26 am (UTC) (Expand)
Joushima Kenchanginchannels on November 22nd, 2008 02:05 am (UTC)
i want toctouch everyone


in in in in in in in and in
Joushima Kenchanginchannels on November 22nd, 2008 02:11 am (UTC)
ps sam and dean can i touch you
n_finitefangirln_finitefangirl on November 22nd, 2008 02:05 am (UTC)
Audience member wonders...
Mymymy...I cannot help but wonder how Judge Frollo is gonna deal with Riku and his..."nose"...
Matthew Williams (The Dominion of Canada): sizethatcounts on November 22nd, 2008 02:08 am (UTC)
ALL IN slkdgjam frollo aaaaah frollo!!
Peter Petrelliemogivesuwings on November 22nd, 2008 02:08 am (UTC)

Bat: OMGWTFbeamkkake on November 22nd, 2008 02:12 am (UTC)


Devit: Who put Whitey in the White House?halfcocked on November 22nd, 2008 02:12 am (UTC)


Kouryuu: Sadsparkurmisery on November 22nd, 2008 02:14 am (UTC)
How to say this...

You're fucked. *patspats*
(no subject) - rubyd on November 22nd, 2008 02:18 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - anddoubleclick on November 22nd, 2008 02:20 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - n_finitefangirl on November 22nd, 2008 02:23 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - n_finitefangirl on November 22nd, 2008 02:23 am (UTC) (Expand)
Hotstreak: Even my mama thinks my mind is goneflame_oooooon on November 22nd, 2008 02:13 am (UTC)
ALL IN AGAIN WOW. I am. Uh. Wow. Just. Wow.